“An important part of bringing up children is the art of listening to them. Of course, when they volunteer things, it’s important to hear, but I mean much more than this. Proverbs tells us that ‘counsel in the heart of man is like a deep water; but a man of understanding will draw it out’ (Proverbs 20:5). There is a crucial application of this principle to our children if we would be parents ‘of understanding.’ Doing this is more a matter of the will than a matter of discovering some hidden technique. How do you draw your children out? Ask questions.
“And parents need to learn how to ask questions of their children without having an immediate agenda. In other words, if parents start to ask questions, and the children immediately become wary, this is likely because asking questions is usually a prelude to a lecture or a rebuke. This is a generalization, but parents need to learn how to draw out ‘counsel’ from their children without feeling obligated to do something about it on the spot. The point is that children should know how to enter a conversation with a father or mother, which is quite a different thing than entering a trap.” (My Life for Yours, p. 114-115)
You Think Too Much! 
I thought his point about conversation, not giving counsel at every occasion, was a good one of which I never considered like that. I’m going to work on it.