An Optical Illusion – What I’m Reading

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“Adolescent children present parents with an imposing optical illusion. Because children at this time look more like adults than toddlers and because they are eager for increased responsibility and independence, parents often assume that their need for reassurance, affection, and love is somehow tapering off. But actually, this is a time in their lives when they need a marked increase of such affection. It’s easy for a father to hug a six-year-old boy and very difficult (for some fathers) to hug a fifteen-year-old boy. Words of praise that used to flow easily are now mysteriously stuck in the throat. And with girls there is an additional complicating factor. This is the time when little girls are developing into women and many men pull away from their daughters for fear of being misunderstood. But sons and daughters both should grow to maturity in an environment of love, respect, praise, affection, and more.” (My Life for Yours, p. 125-126)

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Published by Jeff Voegtlin

Dr. Jeff Voegtlin has been in Christian service for over twenty years. He is an associate pastor at Fairhaven Baptist Church in Chesterton, Indiana, and a Vice President of Fairhaven Baptist College. As conductor of the church and schools' orchestra program, and overseer of the educational program of the college, his teaching has helped to train hundreds of young adults to prepare for full-time ministry. After completing a bachelor's degree from Fairhaven Baptist College, he received a master's degree in Bible from Pensacola Christian College. In 2007, he completed the requirements to finish a doctor's degree in education from Bob Jones University. Dr. Voegtlin is available for seminars in instrumental and choral music practice and philosophy, for education seminars, and to preach and present the college ministry.

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4 Comments

  1. That’s true. Some people don’t realize it until after it’s happened and they’re facing the repercussions, though.

  3. Just from a personal perspective, I am finding that the words of encouragement and the physical affection are easier for me to give my developing children. The horrormones seem to reek havoc on emotions and I find myself trying to fill their emotional tanks. When they were young, they had a carelessness from naiveity that left them hopping and chirping happily. As they get older, their struggles with their own bodies and their greater understanding of the real world, leave them in greater need for some kind of encouragement.

  4. Since we are experiencing that tender age now, I can say we haven’t experienced the awkwardness of affection, I recall it personally with my own father, but thankful it isn’t there between my daughter and her father. It is vital that girls know they are loved throughout every stage of life, not just when they are little, but as teenagers and women as well, IMHO….

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